TRUMP SURPRISE

     Talk about having the pie having been snatched out of your mouth. A year ago what GOP strategist or lawmaker wasn't picturing the sweetest of deals unfolding? At that point, it must have seemed apparent that the Republicans, as beleaguered as they were, could take heart, as the Democratic party was starting to unravel before their very eyes. Sanders, that socialist asshole, was starting to make some headway turning the Dem base against their leaders. At long last, there was every indication that the whole big Blue Shithouse was going to go up in flames, and give way under the weight of its own corruption. And not only that but for some inexplicably joyous reason, the nuts over at the DNC were sealing their fate by doing everything possible to get Hilary Clinton nominated to become the next commander in chief. Hillary Rodham Clinton, the most disliked and mistrusted name in American politics. What maroons. Couldn't they see the writing on the wall? They could never get Sanders elected but forcing a Clinton nomination would probably destroy the Democratic party. Must be all that tasty fucking bulgar wheat they had for breakfast depriving their minds of protein or something. Whatever it was, not only did the bastards have it coming, they were bringing it on themselves, this was just too easy. The only work to do was to make sure Ted Cruz didn't get the Republican nomination, which shouldn't be too difficult. Getting the White House back into sane conservative hands must have seemed at times almost like a no- brainer, a tap in from 5 inches. This surely would not have been deemed a merely a fortuitous turn of events. No, this was truly epic, a once in a political lifetime treat to be carefully cultivated and savored.

     Not that Slick Willie was that bad of a guy if you ever had a chance to party some golf with the cheating fucker and his troupe of stripper caddies, but all the same, the attitude across the isle could probably have been summed up as Fuck you Bill you lying son of a bitch, you did inhale, and you did have sex with that woman. We are going to roast you ass and your bullshit foundation, harp on Benghazi and the e mails and make Hillary defend every one of her and Obama's missteps. She is not you Bill, people don't like her. We can make it stick. This time you lose.

     Those bigwig GOP pols must have been getting pretty cocksure as they pulled up a seat at the kitchen table with bibs tied and mouths watering. But then something happened they didn't anticipate. Just when they were getting ready to dig into the Clinton pork pie those dumb shit liberals over at the DNC had baked up for them, they looked up from the table and saw that Donald Trump was their candidate. Yes the unhinged, Howard Stern wannabe New York real estate dick. The asshole with the golf course in Scotland, the kook with the reality show. That Donald Trump, that's the one. And now he was calling on Russia to hack into Clinton's e-mails, being flippant about John McCain's military service, and was insulting Hispanics, the handicapped, and a Muslim family of one of America's war dead. And just for the sake of being provocative, he was hinting at the viability of exercising “second amendment rights” to stop Clinton in her tracks.

    Oh, and that is only the most particularly egregious stuff; there was plenty more, it was just not quite as damaging.

    Looking at the level of discourse that the rank and file Republican base is exposed to vis a via the nonsense espoused by Hannity, Coulter, Limbaugh and the like, it is not really all that surprising-Donald Trump is the GOP candidate. After all, Hilary Clinton is the product of her party, and she is by far the most flawed candidate the Democrats could have come up with. I guess we have MSNBC, PBS and new math to blame for that one. It's just that Trump, in spite of HRC's every attempt to prove herself incompetent and unfit for the top job, is not about to be upstaged on this grandest of all stages and will say anything to keep the spotlight on him. Clinton may in fact be a megalomaniac, but she at least has some semblance mental coherence and does not appear to be mad capped as well as maniacal. After all, who in their right mind, when they stop to think about it, would want someone with the nuclear codes who says he won't tell you what he would do, because he himself doesn't really know what the fuck he would do? Now THAT is an attention getter.

     Sorry boys, it seems that there has been a last minute menu change  and that Clinton pork pie ain't quite done yet. It's been switched out for a big helping of Trump Surprise. Bon Appetite.